Why I need my shrink right now

Getting divorced in 2000 destroyed my life. When I walked out of my 18-year marriage and a beautifully furnished home, I was an unemployed stay-at-home mom who relocated to a strange town and moved into an empty house.

Hey, that was the easy part. It’s taken me a solid decade to figure out a new routine, re-invent my career and build a support network. But I did it. And now comes the real challenge…

Can I go on to fulfill my dreams?

Let me phrase that question another way — am I ready to take on some new roles?

• Stage mom and manager: As you know, my 16-year-old daughter wants to model. The other day, we went on a photo shoot that I set up and coordinated. At the actual shoot, I also served as driver, stylist — as well as the porter who lugged around the makeup bag, shoes and outfit changes from location to location. (Note: In pursuing these roles, my only dream is to help my kid find her own happiness. Ooops, is my maternal martyr complex showing??!)

• Author and publisher: Seven years ago, I started teaching. Then, two years ago, I got into blogging and social media. Now I have an urge to combine the two: I want to write and self-publish a journalism guidebook. By the way, did I mention that I’ve never written or published a book before?

Thank goodness I have a great shrink. I need help in sorting out how I go about finding my dreams without losing my mind. Maybe saner people don’t need to blab on for hours in therapy. But I wasn’t raised to believe that happiness or true love are possible. Getting over my past continues to be hard work.

Recently, my therapist made an interesting observation. I was explaining that I love blogging, teaching and painting because they put me in the moment. They’re all about being with people on a raw, emotional level. My shrink listened thoughtfully. Then, he said that in an earlier, pre-Internet age, I probably would’ve been an actress.

Hmmm. That made a lot of sense to me…I’m definitely in search of an audience!

So I’m all about wanting to connect. Below are the ways you can join me by clicking on the following links. And please pass along my info…

Maybe you know people who will vibe with my search for fulfillment as a writer, journalist, artist and teacher. Maybe there’s someone rebuilding a life after divorce. Maybe it’s someone who is dealing with childhood scars and/or the immigrant experience. Anyways, I’m here.  :-)

• Subscribe to my blog: As a subscriber, you’ll get an email alert whenever I have a new blog post. Having you on an email list is precious currency because  it’s tangible proof that I actually have an audience.

• “Like” my Facebook page: This is my public page, where my inner actress can hang out informally with everyone. I post here several times a week. Right now, 184 people like my page, which feels like being in an Off-Broadway-sized “theater.” To turn the page into a stadium-sized arena, I would need thousands of like-minded people. Wonder if that’s possible.

• Follow me on Twitter: I tweet moments from my daily life — links to interesting things I’ve read as well as photos and random thoughts. This venue offers instant reaction to my latest material.

Does all this online personal pimpin’ seem crazy? Haha. Yeah. But it’s also incredibly liberating. And, fun.