For most of our lives, my younger sister and I had A Difficult Relationship. For this, we hold our parents responsible. They constantly compared us to each other, pushing us to be twin success stories. When we were little, our mom even dressed us in identical outfits. We grew up feeling competitive and judgemental of each other. Then a year ago, …
5 reasons why being in a Chinese family is murder & ways to break the cycle
Jennifer Pan’s parents pushed her to be the perfect daughter. But once she grew up, she hired hit men to kill them. Her story is about more than girl gone bad. Asian family values are detonating in the 21st century. And we must do something about it. Jennifer’s story & our personal stories I found some research studies that might …
My money story on NPR: Chinese family vs. personal happiness
As a huge fan of National Public Radio, I’m THRILLED to be featured on Marketplace. The NPR show, which is about personal finance and business, wanted to know how my immigrant parents impacted my money values. This is one of my favorite topics. How we handle our finances is so revealing! Follow the money trail and you can decode the story …
Don’t be a perfectionist: 5 steps to recovery
I just rewrote my book manuscript for the third time — and it was total agony. The final, two-day push was a marathon effort involving very little sleep, six slices of pizza and lots of cookies. Did I mention that my normal diet is dairy-, sugar- and gluten-free? Haha! The past week was super-stressful because I was delivering the draft …
Who am I? Humor for self-awareness & identity issues
A good friend of mine says that reading my painful blog posts about childhood traumas and cultural issues is only bearable when I’m funny. Agreed! Humor goes a long way in sharing the truth effectively and then, growing from the experience. The tricky part here is that looking in the mirror can be tough. But lately, that’s gotten easier as …
I regret not going away for college
Even though my life has had its share of stumbles and bumbles, I have only one true regret: Why did I live at home during those all-important university years? The good news is that helping my daughter shop for a college this fall is giving me some vicarious thrills, insights, comfort — and fresh regrets. While these feelings have been …