Dear Mom, I used to hate roses because they reminded me of you: beautiful, with dangerous thorns. But when I planted your favorite flower on your 100th birthday, you sent me a sign. Now, I embrace you completely, Mother Dear. I love you, Mom, thorns and all. If you were still alive, you would’ve adored shopping for rose bushes at …
Moms never really die
Even though my mom left this world in 2010, moms never really die. She’s still with me, in an even better way. Death freed her from suffering. Her passing also freed me, from the tough parts of our relationship. Now, I enjoy her at her best. When I was younger, I didn’t realize our bond would keep growing. If I …
3 things a fun mom never does to her adult child
The other day, I asked one of my classes a simple question: Who is the most difficult person in your life? To my shock, the answer was “mom.” How could that be? These lovely young people vented until I heard their truth. And now, I understand the 3 things a fun mom never does to her adult child. If I …
Year of the Rooster: therapy talk for 2017
Year of the Rooster has me thinking about how happy I am to finally, truly appreciate my difficult parents. The two of them, plus my first shrink, now occupy the V.I.P seats in my head, reserved for my most precious ancestors. Yup, they’re both dead. A heart attack killed Dad when I was a teenager. Mom died seven years ago, …
How to talk to your teen about her clothes & save your relationship
My friend emailed me, desperate. Her first-born child, 13, stormed off to school in short-shorts and a teeny tank top. This, after a huge mother-daughter fight over inappropriate clothes. My friend wanted advice. I was stumped. But when I turned to Facebook friends for help, they responded with inspiring insights that I wish were available when my own daughter was …
How my Asian mom made me nuts: a love story
Mothers get blamed for everything. So if you want to know why I turned out this way, just look at my mom. She was a diva in denial who did and said crazy things. Figuring out where she ends and I begin has become my life’s work. If she hadn’t left this world in 2010, she would’ve been celebrating her …