For most of our lives, my younger sister and I had A Difficult Relationship. For this, we hold our parents responsible. They constantly compared us to each other, pushing us to be twin success stories. When we were little, our mom even dressed us in identical outfits. We grew up feeling competitive and judgemental of each other. Then a year ago, …
5 reasons why being in a Chinese family is murder & ways to break the cycle
Jennifer Pan’s parents pushed her to be the perfect daughter. But once she grew up, she hired hit men to kill them. Her story is about more than girl gone bad. Asian family values are detonating in the 21st century. And we must do something about it. Jennifer’s story & our personal stories I found some research studies that might …
My money story on NPR: Chinese family vs. personal happiness
As a huge fan of National Public Radio, I’m THRILLED to be featured on Marketplace. The NPR show, which is about personal finance and business, wanted to know how my immigrant parents impacted my money values. This is one of my favorite topics. How we handle our finances is so revealing! Follow the money trail and you can decode the story …
Father’s Day: Making peace with Dad
The war is over. Even though my father was a tyrant who made me miserable, I’ve fought hard to reclaim my life and get to happiness. So after all the years of weeping and blowing my nose at the shrink’s office, letting go is possible. This Sunday, I will celebrate. Finally. Happy Father’s Day, Dad. I love you, Dad. To …
5 ways to embrace the Year of the Snake
As we slither into the Year of the Snake, I have been dragged against my will into its call for reflection. The most enigmatic creature of the Chinese zodiac is all about carefully contemplating solutions — and I have found one. For me, the challenge ahead is simple: I can NOT give in to inertia. I really didn’t want to …
How to drink scotch like a real badass Asian
I’ve always enjoyed Johnnie Walker Red. As a kid in Chinatown, it was the liquor of choice served during most of the 10-course Chinese restaurant banquets that we attended. But now I’m approaching my snifter in a much classier way, thanks to a recent whisky-tasting party. The venue was a Manhattan pop-up, a Johnnie Walker House created by the brand’s …