Eighteen months ago, I wrote a letter to my inner child. Come into my life more, I said. Well, she took up the invitation. Now, she wants to take over. She says it’s time to heal the early years and fully rebirth myself. <Gulp.> Anyways, here she is. See what what you think. Hey Betty, Congrats on the life changes. …
Happy 100th birthday: I love you Mom, thorns and all
Dear Mom, I used to hate roses because they reminded me of you: beautiful, with dangerous thorns. But when I planted your favorite flower on your 100th birthday, you sent me a sign. Now, I embrace you completely, Mother Dear. I love you, Mom, thorns and all. If you were still alive, you would’ve adored shopping for rose bushes at …
Dads never really die
When I was 19, my 70-year-old dad passed on from this world. But since I believe that dads never really die, my relationship with him keeps growing. And we’re finally in a very good place. This is huge. After all, I spent decades wrapped in outrage, venting about the tyrant who scarred me forever. Now, I look at my faded …
How my dad’s forgiveness freed me from perfectionism
I used to to think that sex and finances were the toughest topics to write about. This post beats them both because I struggle so deeply with unresolved daddy-daughter issues. But I recently said something to my father that represents a complete shift in our relationship. My adult life might finally be in my own hands. First, full disclosure. Since …
Accepting my dad for who he is
This year, I’m giving my dad a very special Father’s Day gift: unconditional love. So what if he’s been dead for 41 years. Remember, parents never really die. Besides, it’s never too late, right? My father crushed his family — Mom, my kid sister, me — with tough love. As a cranky Vietnamese-Chinese immigrant struggling with survival issues in America, …
Reflecting on fear, back pain, new projects & the healing power of poetry
Ouch. Ouch. Easy, girl. Earlier this week, wrenching my back led to three, solid immobilized days in bed. Even though I’m up again, recovery is slow. The back is tender. So am I. Three painful, prone, motionless days took me to a deeper truth. I had to deal with not just physical crippling but an emotional one. Lately, I’ve been stressed about …