A really good beauty mask that’s cheap, quick & easy

In the old days, I flew on private jets. I could shop at Prada without checking the price tags. For getting around the city, there was a Mercedes convertible, with the top down.

Well, it’s all gone now, baby, including the spa treatments. But my face still looks decent — thanks to Queen HeleneShe’s the V.I.P. in my bathroom vanity, where I always stock her beauty masques. They do such royally nice things to my skin.

Here’s why I buy these products:

• A 6-ounce tube costs between $3.99 and $4.29 and lasts FOREVER.
• They’re NOT tested on animals.
• They’re made by Para Laboratories in Hempstead, N.Y. , so I’m supporting the local economy.
• They feel good; the textures are fun to use.
• They’re a quick lift — each masque takes only 10 to 15 minutes.
• I love the convenience of not traveling anywhere to pamper myself.
• They really do a nice job of tightening pores and making my skin look delectable.
• Looking this smooth makes me feel sassy — and, rich.  :-)

Most major drugstore chains carry Mint Julep. Sometimes, I order the other products online. But usually, I walked into town to my local family-owned pharmacy, where the owners are happy to get the products for me.

Sure, I sorta miss the fancy facial salons where beautiful women with European accents fussed over me. But honestly? Going to those places was always such a bother. Between making appointments, getting there and chatting during the treatments, it was just too much work. Ohhhhh, writing about the past now is making me nostalgic…

The mad money was fun. It happened after I’d quit newspapering and was exploring the stay-at-home mommy world. I was still married and my husband was on a professional hot streak. We threw money around because for the first time in our lives, we had it.

I knew we were out of control on the day our Princess named her new goldfish. She was about three years old. We’d just gotten back from the pet store. The orange fish, she called “Orangey.” The white one became “Whitey.” The speckled swimmer was, of course, “Spotty.”

Without missing a beat, she christened the black one. She named it “Limo.”

Before long, the goldfish died. Within two years, we got divorced. That was the end of the mad money. And with the Great Recession — which supposedly just ended — well, we all know about that. Given my finances, I’m glad Queen Helene’s holding me steady on the beauty front!