July 23, 2010

In the past decade since my divorce, I’ve used from time to time. I just spent $75.09 to join up for the next three months. And even though I know the game, I have a lot of new questions. They stem from my frustrations in being a 50-something woman.

Some background: Two nights ago, I posted my profile in hopes of meeting a guy my age. Since then, 166 people viewed my profile 250 times, 18 men emailed me and another 24 “winked” — which means they’re interested but won’t initiate more.

What I’ve seen so far has me wondering….

  • Why don’t most of the 50-something guys want women their age? Most of my male peers state that they’re seeking women who are 33 to 45.
  • Why do 50-somethings who describe themselves as “athletic and toned” post pictures of themselves shirtless? Do they really think that this is is a sign of confidence?
  • One potential suitor (real estate developer! 54! loves travel and skiing!) described himself as a “great catch.” He began his email to me with “hi vetty.” Am I really supposed to respond to that????
  • In scrolling through the hundreds of profiles, I spotted one where a 50-ish guy noted, “I like to work out at the GIM.” Did I really read that???
  • Why so many photos of older dudes on racing bikes or posing with sports cars? Eeeeewww.

<Sigh.>  So here’s the real issue. I’M TURNING 54 SOON. And I’m feeling my age.

It used to be that by now on Match, my profile would result in hundreds of views and dozens of emails. The irony is that most people think that I’m in my early 40s. I’ll bet that if I had lied about my age — instead of honestly writing that I’m 53 — my stats would be much higher.

But I have to keep reminding myself that this is not about the numbers.

All I need is one good man. He must be honest and have a sense of humor, reasonably healthy and not on any major medications. Is this asking too much?

P.S. — I might be grouchy because I’m paying for Match. If you’re interested in online dating but don’t want to bear the cost either financially or emotionally, I recommend the free site Read about my experience HERE.

Update — Oct. 14, 2013: This is probably my most popular online dating rant. But I’ve been tempted to take it down because so much has changed since I wrote it. For starters, I’m meeting many more men my age. And everyone has the good sense to keep their clothes on in their profile photos. Quite honestly, I think maybe things are different because I’ve changed. Less shrill now. More sure of what I want. Not so angry at the world. Not so lonely anymore either.  :)