Here we go again. Another cycle of reinvention. All my loved ones have flown the nest. Boo-hoo. Poor me. Even though I learned to be alone after my 2001 divorce, this time it’s different. This time, I’m not bleeding emotional wounds from ripping apart a marriage. Instead, I’m facing typical first-world lifestyle transitions: The young adult daughter, living away from …
How my dad’s forgiveness freed me from perfectionism
I used to to think that sex and finances were the toughest topics to write about. This post beats them both because I struggle so deeply with unresolved daddy-daughter issues. But I recently said something to my father that represents a complete shift in our relationship. My adult life might finally be in my own hands. First, full disclosure. Since …
How my Asian mom made me nuts: a love story
Mothers get blamed for everything. So if you want to know why I turned out this way, just look at my mom. She was a diva in denial who did and said crazy things. Figuring out where she ends and I begin has become my life’s work. If she hadn’t left this world in 2010, she would’ve been celebrating her …
Open letter to Chinese American moms #blacklivesmatter
If you’re reading this and you’re not Chinese, American or Mom, please stay — and welcome! You are essential to the conversation too. It’s just that I feel a need to talk directly with a group that looks most like me, to reassure us that we are not alone. I have also added a Chinese translation of this blog post. …
Practicing the art of flying at LaGuardia Airport
Hello from Ann Arbor, Michigan! I just arrived for a week in my new Midwestern home-away-from-home. The flight from New York was such a horror show that it got me reflecting on My Journey: What do 21st century travelers need to survive airplanes and life in general? I always find the patience to go on from a wise writer who …
Accepting my dad for who he is
This year, I’m giving my dad a very special Father’s Day gift: unconditional love. So what if he’s been dead for 41 years. Remember, parents never really die. Besides, it’s never too late, right? My father crushed his family — Mom, my kid sister, me — with tough love. As a cranky Vietnamese-Chinese immigrant struggling with survival issues in America, …