Can I be more than Mommy?

My baby girl just left for camp, which leaves me rattling around the house alone. Scary! Especially since this is my future. Next summer, my daughter graduates from high school and heads for college.

And when that happens, can I stand being home alone? Can I create a new life that’s not centered on being Mommy? To calm myself the other night, I went to McDonald’s.

While fast food isn’t normally on my radar, once a year I indulge in my favorite junk food meal: two Filet-O-Fish with a small order of fries. But instead of the usual Diet Coke, I gave into the urge for a high-calorie, feeling-sorry-for-myself vanilla shake.

Then I went home to feast, on the deck. Alone.

Actually, I had a very nice time by myself. Besides, I wasn’t totally alone since Rosebud was hanging around.

Not exactly a gluten-free, nutritious meal, haha! As a compromise, I trimmed off most of the bun. Yes, it was delicious. No, I didn’t share with the dog.

As I pigged out, I had an idea. Maybe this meal is just the beginning. What if each day was filled with something that’s a treat for me? After all, the daily mothering duties are shrinking. Soon, there will be more time to explore.

I need to find new ways to happiness and get out of my daughter’s face. Nothing worse than a lonely, hovering mother who lives through her child. As a survivor of that kind of parenting, it would be a crime to inflict that on Gabi.

So for the next two weeks, I am committing myself to indulging in one delicious treat per day. It doesn’t have to be food or elaborate or expensive (although it was shocking to spend $12.31 at Mickey D’s…isn’t that kinda steep?)

This blog post is my contract to myself. At the end of two weeks, I’ll share the results.

Now that my daughter is growing up, I need to do some growing too.