September 7, 2017
I just discovered that a movie date with myself can be fun. Getting out there reminded me that whether I’m single or in a relationship, I always, always have choices.
It was a little aha! moment packed with impact. It broke the cycle. Until I had a movie date with myself, I skulked around at movie theater matinees. My goal was to avoid date nights, when couples went out.
Whether I was single or in a relationship, seeing twosomes at the movies triggered my resentment and self-pity. Why me? Why did I have to be out there alone?
But on a recent Saturday night, I needed to get outta the house and celebrate something. Anything. And I wanted to keep things simple. Calling around for a friend to keep me company — forget about it. That felt like too much work and, fear. So, I just went.
I decided to check out the iPic Theater chain, which has one of its fancy, new multiplexes in Dobbs Ferry, N.Y., near my home. As expected for a gorgeous Saturday night, couples were everywhere.
I kept breathing, and talked myself into going inside. It felt like walking into a nice hotel or club, complete with upscale restaurant, bar, and, prices to match.
The movie I wanted was about to start and nearly sold out. No more tickets for the $25 leather recliners, which include a pillow, blanket, unlimited popcorn and table service. The $16 upright seats, with no extras, were also gone.
The only tickets left were for $16, front-row “chaise lounges.” They’re built for two, with tickets sold in pairs. But they let me buy one seat. I had a whole pod for a movie date with myself!
Niiiice. I stretched out my legs and dived into $17 worth of treats — a bag of popcorn and a merlot, served in a real wine glass. The distance from the screen was surprisingly comfy. With no one in front of me, I was in my own, private screening room.
It was just me, my snacks and “Girls Trip,” a very funny, naughty chick flick.
From this happy space, I celebrated myself, and silently wished lots of love to all the date night couples in the audience. Getting what I needed made me more than generous in spirit; I was human again.
It’s been a few weeks since this movie adventure. In that time, I’ve realized a few freeing thoughts.
First of all, a movie date with myself has NOTHING to do with being single. How many times have I sat home, even when I was in relationships? If I couldn’t find a friend, lover or family member to keep me company, I gave up and put myself on a shelf.
But now, I know to stop the noise in my head. Breathe, and get outta the house!
Top-quality self-care recharges me. When I’m fortified, I can keep on giving in a healthy way, in an unhealthy world. Now, I’ve just added a date night with myself to the list of resources for laughter, escapism and inspiration.
Of course, I still dread solitary nature walks. But I like dining alone. And you know that I’m getting over the fear of traveling alone and the 9 things I learned in Bangkok.”
What are your fears and freedoms in going it alone? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Meantime, I hope you’ll do something nice for yourself this Saturday night. And, every night. :)