July 19, 2012

Last night, I felt a twinge when a gal pal happily shared that she was about to meet a new man for a drink. And instead of being jealous, I was inspired. You go, gurrrrl! But what about me?

If there’s one thing I’m learning  in both my personal and professional life is that agonized planning is no way to live. Need a new blog logo? Just do it! Need to install solar panels on the house or meet a crushing work deadline? Do it, baby! Need companionship and romance? Just….

Hmmm. The whole idea of love has me stuck. But since many of us believe that things (good and bad) come in threes, I’ve recently gotten three messages from the cosmos that might be getting me unstuck. They qualify as new ways to find love because I wasn’t practicing them until now.  :)

Support from friends. Being around people who are actually dating is a positive influence. Having a supportive inner circle helps too. My friends are all after me to get out there, which I have viewed as annoying. But I think that it’s time for me to stop pouting and simply appreciate the fact that they care. It also helps to hear success stories, which gets me to my next point.

Getting beyond comfort zones doesn’t have to hurt — it can even be enjoyable. Two months ago, I blogged about my ambivalence over dealing with love issues and mentioned that a feng shui master suggested I clear out the weed-filled planters on my deck and fill them with red flowers to attract romantic energy. I happen to love flowers but was skeptical — until Cassandra Aoki posted a comment you can read here. She wrote about meeting her third husband closed with this:

Love will find you! You just have to recognize it when it’s standing in front of you. Maybe he’s right, you should clean out those weeds and put red flowers in those planters. I think the guy knows what he is talking about… A girl has to surround herself with beauty to attract beauty. Men like that feeling of coming home to a well kept place especially since they are more visual.

Well, last week, I did it. Wasn’t willing to invest much in the project so I bought the cheapest red flowers, spending less than $10 in total. No matter what happens, at least my deck is pretty, which is already having a positive impact. I sit out there more (enjoy the moment!). And every time I look at those red petals, I feel softer, more willing to be vulnerable.

Be willing to keep changing — because the world keeps changing. As you all know, I’ve sworn off Internet dating. Being a 50-something woman in this market has been a horror show. People find my post on this topic hilarious (read here). But I shut down two years ago and the market is different now. Older folks are finding each other on senior websites (I might be too young for that). And there are also dating apps for smart phones (might be too old for that).

If you haven’t heard of that last one, check out this post on 10 Dating Apps to Help you Find True Love. Just reading  it made me feel younger, more in-the-know! And that brings me to the key to moving my life forward: staying current is a source of freedom because I am aware of options.

We always have choices — remember that.

So I’m not saying “yes.” But I’m not saying “no” anymore either. That’s a start.