Summer and…romance!

betty ming liu Relationships 27 Comments

I haven’t posted for a while because I’ve been settling into a new relationship. This is especially tricky for bloggers. After all, we’re wired to share — and overshare. Taking a break seemed the right thing to do. But it’s been half a year of togetherness and I’m ready to chat about my over-50 romance.

For the whole truth, here’s one more fact. I’ve also waited to share because blogging about my past relationships didn’t work out too well.

Given such an unfortunate history, I didn’t want to go down that path again. This time, I wanted to be sure of my feelings before blathering into the blogosphere.

Actually, in looking back, blogging about romance was never the problem. The core issue was that I was always in relationships that were shaky from the very beginning. Like my marriage, they went on too long because I didn’t trust my instincts. How bad can things get? Well, last year, during yet another dating dry spell, I re-read those old posts. Ugh, embarrassing.

It was as if I wrote about being happy to convince myself. To quote the famous bard William Shakespeare, “Lady, thou dost protest too much.” With the benefit of hindsight, I could see that every post screamed of denial. Quicker than you could say “creepy,” I deleted every post about specific relationships, which felt like a ritualistic cleansing. A fresh start.

Then, a few months ago, I met a great guy online. Chemistry lit up our initial email. We went through a couple long phone conversations. At last, the first date, which led to four dates in the first week. By Week #2, we knew we wanted to be together.

I’ve never experienced anything like this in my entire life. It felt so crazy that I grilled my shrink. He reassured me that our behavior was within the realm of “the norm” for romance. As for what this says about my earlier relationships, let’s not go there today, not when we can celebrate that it’s never too late to meet someone special, even if we’re about to turn 58.  :)

At the moment, he and his old dog are in the process of moving in with me, my daughter and our three cats. (Note: My daughter approves of both the man and his faithful hound.)

Over recent weeks, we’ve been in endless rounds of unpacking boxes and lugging furniture. There was the tag sale, the donations to a nearby church attic sale, giveaways to friends. We’re almost done with redecorating. Everything’s been rearranged, from pots and pans to closet shelves.

Now my significant other takes on the new role of blogger fodder. Since he likes his privacy, I doubt he’ll make more than the occasional cameo appearance. But my blogger DNA requires me to officially share the news that he’s in my life, that he’s taking care of me and telling me jokes that make me belly laugh. And, that there’s a new old dog in the house; he’ll never replace my beloved, departed Rosebud but he still makes me smile.

As for what’s next…

530tea setsigned

Let’s get back to firing away on multiple burners! This is a great time for you to subscribe to my blog because I’ve got tons of other stuff going on. Summer’s about to take off for me. How about you? xo

My April 10, 2017 update: Well, we had a decent run. And, no regrets. But after three years, the breakup was very, very rough. Where’s what I learned: “After the breakup: being my own woman.” 

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Comments 27

  1. Wow, Betty! There are so many things to talk about next! This post sounds like it could be the start of a whole other blog altogether. So much is going on. As always, I appreciate that even after your mini-absence you check in to let everyone know what you’ve been up to. Can we still see each other maybe sometime this summer if you can break away from the beau for a bit? :) I hope you are happy and healthy.

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      Skye, would love to catch up later this summer! Right now, I’m still up to my eyeballs in reorganization. As for starting another blog, this definitely feels like another chapter in my life, my blog…and even in the book I’m working on. Speaking of which, that’s my priority now. Gotta get some traction on that manuscript. That’s why I’m up early this morning. Great hearing from you. xo

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      Thank you, Ms. Boiling! The level of connection is new for me — for the bf too. Meeting him has completely changed my views of what’s possible in the romance department. :)

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      Muriel, you would’ve loved our garage sale. Many of the shoppers were middle-aged, single women from the nabe. They all asked if I was moving. “Sort of,” I said. “It’s my new bf. We met online a few months ago and he’s moving in.” That’s when they wanted to know what website ( and how long (I’ve been dating since my marriage of nearly 18 years ended in 2000). Don’t give up on yourself or love, I told them. Just keep getting out there to practice, meet people and figure out what you want!

  2. Great post Betty! Much happiness to your and your new guy! Post cute pooch pics! xoxo CL

    p.s. I am Instagramming and Pinning myself into oblivion thanks to you!

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      Thanks, Charlotte! I really miss my Rosebud. She was such a sweet, old dog. It was quite nice that my bf was a package deal that included a new, old dog! And so happy to hear that you’re Intagramming and Pinning. Everyone, Charlotte has a new blog on beauty tips for the over-40 woman. Click on her name and check it out!

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  3. I am overjoyed for you! There is nothing — nothing! — like the high from a brand-new relationship. And now moving in — well, it’s pure excitement to be crafting a day-to-day life together. Bravo, Betty! xxoo

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  5. Congratulations Betty. I too am a believer in love at first sight. I knew I wanted to spend my life with my Mike the minute I set eyes on him, 18 years ago, and said as much to a dear friend who was there with me at the time (so I do have a witness!) In the ensuing 18 years there has never been a moment when I questioned that original feeling.
    As for the challenge of combining two households, you have my sympathy. One of the things I liked about Mike after I got to know him, was that he owned no furniture and no china. What a lucky break! It made the move simplicity itself. Mike is your basic, East Village artist type, who thinks that if you have a mattress and a sauce pan, you are furnished – so it is quite like Che Guevera living with Martha Stewart – which is one of the reasons we never fight – we take different things seriously. For example, we never fight over table settings. I take them seriously but Mike would eat off a newspaper and be perfectly content. On the other hand, he takes his meticulously constructed model airplanes seriously so I don’t object to him hanging them all over the house (except from the dining room crystal chandelier – I did draw the line there) We have the Battle of Britain in the stairwell. LOL.
    I was almost 50 when I met Mike and that too is an advantage. I brought experience with me and had learned a few things about how relationships work over the years. The airplanes are a good example. Back in my 20s and 30s, I would have had a real problem with them. “They don’t go with my carefully crafted decor!!!” However, I’ve long since learned my decor is of distinctly secondary importance to the happiness of the person I love. I’m sure your experience will likewise stand you in good stead and I wish you the best.

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    Toby, what great details. Sigh. Nice. And yes, I relate. Che Guevera + Martha Stewart 4Ever. I get it. In our case, it’s not model airplanes and table settings but….haha! Let’s see how the boy feels about reading this post later. I better not say too much about him. At least, not yet.

    But thanks so much for sharing your real life examples. Helps to see how this works. Being in my 50s definitely makes me more flexible. There was one point where I didn’t know how to arrange our combined pottery on a shelf and was getting really tired. “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” he kept saying. That helped too. :)

  7. Big, huge, girly YAY! When I found that love with my husband (second husband, but second to none), it was the most urgent, thrilling, scary, entrancing, and natural yet surreal feeling, and still is. I’m so happy for you that you get to have that!

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    Joel, I’m doing my best not to fall into the old trap of Piling On Expectations! And I am working with the book. Spent all day on it. This might take a while but these days, everything feels more natural and less like a struggle. :)

  9. Betty,
    Such great news! You deserve a wonderful man in your life! I look forward to what you think up next to blog about. My update: my first born has taken flight and the second one is finishing freshman year in high school. Both have turned out alright, if I do say so myself. In January, we adopted a second dog as a companion for Bella and it was the best thing we’ve done. They are a darling pair and get along amazingly well. I’m starting a new painting project that I’m excited about though it is too new to discuss. When I have a finished piece, I’ll show you. What about your paint brush??

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