Ask for help

The smartest thing I’ve learned to do: Ask for help

betty ming liu Relationships 11 Comments

My parents taught me to solve my own problems. Never go to outsiders for help. In breaking this childhood cycle of isolation, I’ve learned to reach out with wonderful results. But the struggle remains: I still find it hard to ask for help. In times of need both large and small, my reflex is to save face and shut people …

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How my dad’s forgiveness freed me from perfectionism

betty ming liu Relationships 4 Comments

I used to to think that sex and finances were the toughest topics to write about. This post beats them both because I struggle so deeply with unresolved daddy-daughter issues. But I recently said something to my father that represents a complete shift in our relationship. My adult life might finally be in my own hands. First, full disclosure. Since …

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family portrait

How my Asian mom made me nuts: a love story

betty ming liu Relationships 1 Comment

Mothers get blamed for everything. So if you want to know why I turned out this way, just look at my mom. She was a diva in denial who did and said crazy things. Figuring out where she ends and I begin has become my life’s work. If she hadn’t left this world in 2010, she would’ve been celebrating her …

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Open letter to Chinese American moms #blacklivesmatter

betty ming liu Inspiration, Relationships 18 Comments

If you’re reading this and you’re not Chinese, American or Mom, please stay — and welcome! You are essential to the conversation too. It’s just that I feel a need to talk directly with a group that looks most like me, to reassure us that we are not alone. I have also added a Chinese translation of this blog post. …

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white house

How I almost visited the White House & learned about aging gracefully

betty ming liu Inspiration 12 Comments

The Secret Service guy behind the glass window looked at my driver’s license, scanned his computer screen and shook his head. “You’re not on the list,” he said. What happened next made me feel like an idiot, a has-been, an old lady. But then, I pulled myself together. Along the way, I’ve learned a few things about aging gracefully — and maybe, dynamically. …

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freak show families

The shocking history of Asian American women, &, owning my power today

betty ming liu Inspiration 4 Comments

For much of my life, I struggled with being woman, Asian and American. Three pieces in a complex personal puzzle. Much of the time, I felt Not Good Enough. But recently, connecting with my female ancestors changed my outlook. They put up with such horrifying crap! Their story made me so mad that fury displaced fear to make me brave. Did you …

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