T oday’s post is inspired by the single most frequent question that readers ask me: How does a person get started with therapy? Up until now, I’ve been pretty clueless on what to say about that. But I finally asked my own therapist for advice on the issue. The highlights from our chat are outlined [...]
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This week’s headline — the BF and I just broke up. The process of exiting has been painful. But this is an illuminating experience. To my surprise, ending the relationship has clarified major issues for me. To summarize: We met on Match.com and were together for 14 months. He’s my first Chinese/Asian guy in nearly [...]
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For the longest time, I’ve wanted to try Blue Hill. But I’d never been — even though it’s located barely 20 minutes from my house. This super-exclusive restaurant has been beyond my reach for many reasons. For starters, it’s a pain to make reservations a month in advance. For another, the meals are pricey. I [...]
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Well, folks, a miracle has happened. The boyfriend and I just made it to our first anniversary. We’ve learned a lot during the past year. Maybe reading about our fumbles and recoveries might help you — or someone you know. 1. There’s no shame in dating online. Hey, it’s hard to meet people. These days, everyone’s [...]
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I just turned 55. And I am scared. The feeling reminds me of quarter-life angst except worse. After all, a half-life crisis involves twice as much emotional baggage. But thankfully, there’s also the potential for twice as much wisdom — which I discovered during a birthday morning visit with the shrink. My regular Monday session [...]
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Valentine’s Day usually makes me feel bad about myself. I have survived it by faking a smile while plodding alone through fields of red hearts and flowers. Actually, I prefer this scenario because the alternative is worse; I’d rather be solo than in a relationship that is either bleh or becoming bleh. This year, though, [...]
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I do a good job of celebrating the holidays because I want my daughter to have a happy childhood. In the process of keeping up the festivities for her sake, I’ve become less bah-humbug. And I’ll admit it, I have even learned to have fun. Still, this time of year always makes me think of [...]
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This post is in the practical advice category. It contains info that I wish I’d had as a young Chinatown ghetto nerd who was trying to figure out mainstream dining. What did I know about bread plates and water glasses? As a kid, the family meal was simply a matter of sitting down with a [...]
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After 10 long years of using Match.com, I’ve finally met my match. These last three months with him have been a revelation. Being with him has changed many of my views on relationships, on men, Asian men — and especially, Chinese men. That’s right, folks. Dude is a CHINESE-AMERICAN ENGINEER. On the surface, these words embody [...]
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Sooooo, I’m back to seeing my shrink. That means I’m paying $175 for a weekly, 45-minute session. Ouch. Unfortunately, my health insurance doesn’t cover a penny of it. Fortunately, the therapy is worth every cent. Even after only three weeks, I’m already feeling much better. If you’ve never tried it, let me just say that getting [...]
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That’s right — no more blogging about my love life. That’s actually easy to do because …I don’t have a love life! At least, not yet. But if romance is ever going to happen, the relationship will only flourish if I have A Real Private Life. This feels pretty radical for me. After all, I’ve [...]
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It wasn’t so long ago that I was sitting on my therapist’s black leather couch, sobbing my eyes out. At the time, I was a few years into post-divorce dating and there I was, still alone — and scared of being alone. The situation was especially depressing since, up until then, my shrink was always [...]
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In the past decade since my divorce, I’ve used Match.com from time to time. I just spent $75.09 to join up for the next three months. And even though I know the game, I have a lot of new questions. They stem from my frustrations in being a 50-something woman. Some background: Two nights ago, [...]
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I’m trying out a free online dating website called PlentyofFish. It’s been interesting. Brightened up the start of 2010 for me.
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I’ve always enjoyed quilting but this one was extra special. Made a beautiful comforter for my single woman bed. Happy to snuggle alone in it.
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