teen girls

How to talk to your teen about her clothes & save your relationship

betty ming liu Relationships 0 Comments

My friend emailed me, desperate. Her first-born child, 13, stormed off to school in short-shorts and a teeny tank top. This, after a huge mother-daughter fight over inappropriate clothes. My friend wanted advice. I was stumped. But when I turned to Facebook friends for help, they responded with inspiring insights that I wish were available when my own daughter was …

Tags: , , ,

Ask for help

The smartest thing I’ve learned to do: Ask for help

betty ming liu Relationships 11 Comments

My parents taught me to solve my own problems. Never go to outsiders for help. In breaking this childhood cycle of isolation, I’ve learned to reach out with wonderful results. But the struggle remains: I still find it hard to ask for help. In times of need both large and small, my reflex is to save face and shut people …

Tags: , , ,

my drums

The challenges of empty nesting & more

betty ming liu Health, Relationships 26 Comments

Here we go again. Another cycle of reinvention. All my loved ones have flown the nest. Boo-hoo. Poor me. Even though I learned to be alone after my 2001 divorce, this time it’s different. This time, I’m not bleeding emotional wounds from ripping apart a marriage. Instead, I’m facing typical first-world lifestyle transitions: The young adult daughter, living away from …

Tags: , , ,

perfection_mantra

How my dad’s forgiveness freed me from perfectionism

betty ming liu Relationships 4 Comments

I used to to think that sex and finances were the toughest topics to write about. This post beats them both because I struggle so deeply with unresolved daddy-daughter issues. But I recently said something to my father that represents a complete shift in our relationship. My adult life might finally be in my own hands. First, full disclosure. Since …

Tags: , ,

family portrait

How my Asian mom made me nuts: a love story

betty ming liu Relationships 1 Comment

Mothers get blamed for everything. So if you want to know why I turned out this way, just look at my mom. She was a diva in denial who did and said crazy things. Figuring out where she ends and I begin has become my life’s work. If she hadn’t left this world in 2010, she would’ve been celebrating her …

Tags: , , , ,

NEWS SHOT

Open letter to Chinese American moms #blacklivesmatter

betty ming liu Inspiration, Relationships 18 Comments

If you’re reading this and you’re not Chinese, American or Mom, please stay — and welcome! You are essential to the conversation too. It’s just that I feel a need to talk directly with a group that looks most like me, to reassure us that we are not alone. Dear Chinese American Moms, I am reaching out to you because …

Tags: , , ,