A lot of my students are annoyed by punctuation. They think it’s a bother to deal with commas, periods, dashes, hyphens, semi-colons and colons.
But then, I take them through two drills. And suddenly, they get it: Punctuation is a fantastic tool for self-expression! It’s the ultimate accessory for the style-savvy writer.
My drills come from fabulous moments in “Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.” This 2003 bestseller is one of my favorite books. Every time I read it, something new sinks in.
I also get a kick out of author Lynne Truss. She comes across as a chatty, slightly batty middle-aged British spinster who is simply orgasmic over grammar. And who can blame her? After all, punctuation is so, so exciting.
Drill #1 — Punctuate the following sentence:
Woman without her man is nothing
Hmmm, what does that look like to you? Maybe you did this:
Woman — without her man, is nothing.
Then again, maybe you went the opposite way:
Woman: without her, man is nothing.
Wow. Well, will you look at that. Same words, but two totally different meanings. All because of punctuation.
This little exercise changes the mood. Suddenly, my students stop yawning (cover your mouth!) and fidgeting (don’t you dare take out that cell phone!). Now that I have their full attention, I tell them about the next drill.
“You’re about to read a letter that a woman named Jill has written to Jack,” I explain as I hand out the text of her letter. “Jill is from England. So take that into consideration as you read her words. She’s not writing American English. Just work with what she’s giving you.”
Drill #2 — Punctuate letter; don’t change a word.
Dear Jack I want a man who knows what love is all about you are generous kind thoughtful people who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior you have ruined me for other men I yearn for you I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart I can be forever happy will you let me be yours Jill
Now the classroom always gets very quiet. Not a bored silence — but an electric stillness that only happens when intelligent human beings are 100 percent engaged in their work.
“So what kind of letter is this?” I ask them.
“A love letter,” someone will call out. That student proceeds to read the letter out loud.
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy — will you let me be yours?
At this point, some students are shaking their heads. One or two even start worrying that they’ve done the exercise wrong. Unlike the majority of their classmates, this minority group has created a letter in which Jill is extremely pissed at Jack.
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
I wish you could be with me when they we hit this point in the lesson. The other day when I finished Drill #2, a surprised murmuring rippled through the room. It was as if my students had just seen a magic trick and couldn’t believe their eyes…how could one text produce two polar opposite messages???!
Haha — now I go in for the kill. I launch into a passionate talk about dressing for a hot party. We all know what that’s like…
It’s never enough to have the perfect little black dress. A special shirt and cool jeans won’t do the job either. Man or woman, you need the right belt, footwear and jewelry. Earrings, people! We need good earrings!
To have The Look, you MUST style the accessories.
For writers, getting your words on the page is just one part of the writing process. Yes, you’ve chosen the equivalent of your basic garment. And that’s hard work. Bravo! But then, you need all those little dots and squiggly items to nail your voice.
So let’s hear it for accessorizing with punctuation!
So, let’s hear it for accessorizing with punctuation.
So — let’s hear it for….accessorizing with punctuation.
So. Let’s hear it for accessorizing with….punctuation.
So, let’s hear it for accessorizing — with punctuation.
So. Let’s. Hear. It. For. Accessorizing. With. Punctuation.
It deals exclusively with one little item — a squiggle that I have found is a major problem area for college students and adults.
Thank you to reader Skye, for reminding me about this book. And thanks to the New School students who, at the end of our semester together, gifted me with a copy of this charmer.
Okay. So here’s an example from “Eats, Shoots & Leaves: Why, Commas Really DO Make a Difference!”:
After we left Grandma, Mommy and I skipped about in the park.
After we left, Grandma, Mommy, and I skipped about in the park.